I wish you found me earlier
I know, I know, the title sounds a little romantic. This is not a romantic post, unless you, like me, understand that my affair with language is all reaching. I am obsessed with english and communication. I am obsessed with words. I am obsessed with writing and reading.
This is an ode to english.
You are my favorite class/ subject/ language/ passion. I love the words you have given me and the way I can twist them into different shapes and forms to convey whatever message I have. I love how one simple sentence can take on so many meanings with the use of one tiny punctuation mark. I love how your words let me bare my heart when I need to, and to hide my thoughts and feelings behind metaphors and imagery and similes.
This afternoon I went for a visit with my advisor. She spoke about some of the fiction that I’ve written in the past and how we can work together to get my material to publish-able level. I was so excited I could barely sit still.
Then she asked me one question- why do you write?
Writing makes me feel the most alive. And, if I’m working on something, when I trace my most consistent line of thought in a day, it’s usually about my stories.
That is true. My mind is forever buzzing with the next most exciting phrase, or character, or plot. Writing keeps my mind kicking and moving. Writing simultaneously energizes and exhausts me. When it’s going well, my life is splendid. When it’s going badly, my day is upside down. When I write a piece that receives good feedback from my professor or other readers, I’m elated. Interestingly, working with the office of communications at my school, where I consistently have my work critiqued has made me not take negative feedback personally. So I write, I release, and I let my work speak for itself.
As I draw nearer to my graduation date, I fear that my mind will slow down. I have come to love school, I have come to love the readings and assignments, (although I don’t always give them all my best haha). Working on papers and exams makes me excited because my confidence in myself has improved tremendously.
I wrote in this post about how I did really badly in school at some point in my life. Throughout primary (elementary) school, I was top of my class, but I got accepted into Nigeria’s most competitive secondary school (roughly ages 10-16) and I found myself lagging behind. Worse, I lost all interest in school work. I didn’t believe that I could enjoy my course material actually excel doing what I loved to do.
English has changed my life. Discovering my love for words and passion for writing has given me a new lease on life and made me feel like my brain actually functions well.
I only pray for a career where my writing will be appreciated, developed, improved, and polished.
The process of deciding to open this blog was interesting for me. I asked myself what one thing I would love to be known for...
First, of course, is my love for Jesus, and second is my writing. I want my name to be mentioned and for people to say “wow, she can write.”
English has given me the ability to be confident in myself. To love myself. To believe in myself.
Thank you english.
Hahaha. This post actually made my laugh out loud.
Featured image from here.