A few of my weaknesses
A team is only as strong as its weakest player. The best team is made up of two strong people who can bring their strengths to work for them. When there are two people working together, they cover each other’s weaknesses and sharpen one another.
Over the past few months, I have morphed into someone I no longer recognize. I was having meltdowns and worrying over inconsequential matters. I was going crazy and having the scariest dreams. I was baffled. Honestly, my life has changed over the past few months and I was thrown off balance even more than I ever could have imagined.
As I searched for meaning and power to accompany me into this year, I got the idea of a personal retreat from a friend of mine. She told me that she goes “away” for a few days in the beginning of the year. Before she got married, she’d go to an empty room in her parents’ home and take fruits and water to last about three days. She would spend those days in intense prayer and bible study- waiting to hear from the Lord and to gain strength for the rest of the year. Now that she’s married, she goes away with her husband and she has her own personal retreat and they have one together as a family
It’s quite surprising to some people that 2016 was the best year of my life. In the midst of famine, the Lord provides above and beyond for His own. He also teaches them to trust Him. Does this mean that your christianity is questionable if you had a horrible 2016? No. The Lord has each of us on different schedules in life. Take encouragement from my story while I learn humility of spirit and gratitude from yours.
2016 was such an amazing year because I walked into it with a bold spirit. I was determined that it would be my best year. I opened the year with reading Woman Thou art Loosed and I believed that I was loosed. Because I had spent that time with the Master, I was empowered and basically roaring like a lion at all the seeming problems in my life. I knew that in a matter of time, they would be gone.
How did I go from that young, bold, and confident 21-year old to a person who’s constantly questioning God and those around me? Honestly, I was sick of myself and I’m sure God too was getting tired of me so He’s pushed me back to Himself.
I knew I was in trouble when I was talking a lot and having useless conversations. While many people who’ve known me since I was a teenager will tell you that I can taaaalk, I’m slowing down on the words. Words are for loving on God and for speaking life to others. Use only the ones that are necessary, leave the rest for the devil.
I was having conversations that would not benefit me in the immediate run, but that were bringing fear and confusion to my spirit.
I was seeking advice from human beings instead of going to God.
Last night, I long hard look at the past few months of my life. When did I become this person who would call their friends when I was having a hard time instead of taking my problem first and foremost to God?
Even my parents are not my point of contact when I’m faced with a challenge, God is. I was slowly replacing His place with that of friends and loved ones around me.
I resolved to re-enter that period of spiritual isolation when the ONLY authority over my life was God. I promised the Lord that ONLY His counsel will stand in my life. And quite frankly, any person or relationship that cannot respect that deserves to be axed from my life.
I promised to strengthen myself and my spirit so that in every relationship, I would never lag behind as the weaker link. I’m sick of people carrying me along in prayer when I very well know that I am a conqueror myself. I’ve never had a cowering or weak spirit since I was a child. I walk boldly into the face of challenges and I look the devil in the eye. You know why? Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world.
When the enemy tries to strike me, I know that the name of the Lord is a strong tower where I find safety.
I am going back to that woman. The woman who walked ONLY by faith and not by sight. The woman who spoke and mountains moved. The woman who had crazy faith in Jesus.
I owe it to myself and to others who care about me to be the strongest spiritual giant that I can be. There are many giants to slay and as the Lord continues to uphold my right hand with His righteous right hand, I am slaying them one after the other. I have no time for fear and frivolities and for confusion in my life. I only have time for listening to God and doing His will.
What has been the point of this blog post? I don’t know. I just am announcing that I am tired of the scared, worried Alheri that I had morphed into in these past few weeks. I am back to the giant Alheri that I am.
Those who know their God shall be mighty and shall do exploits. Are you coming along? I’m leaving right about now, exploits are waiting to be done.