And the fear vanished.
On Friday, I experienced something very unusual. I was overwhelmed by fear. I mean, look at me, with all the good things that have happened, you’d expect that I should be confident, bold, and fearless. In fact, I have mentioned it here and here. But that day, I simply felt paralyzed. To be honest, for the past week, I hadn’t been very faithful in my bible reading. Here’s what happened: I had to use my personal computer at work, so I’d take it with me to and from the office. Because of that, I wasn’t taking my ipad with me, because you know- I didn't want a heavy bag. And I usually read my bible on the iPad on the fifty minute train ride to and from work.
Can you imagine the nonsensical excuse? Oh, I have to take my laptop to work, so I cannot take my ipad, therefore I cannot read my bible. What happened to reading the bible after work? What happened to reading the bible online on my laptop, during lunch at work? What happened to waking up early to read the bible?
This song has been on my mind all day, so please enjoy it. It's a Ghanaian song, and I love, love, love it!
Oh well, that was my situation for the past week. You can imagine that by Friday I was spiritually running low. Can one go for one week without eating? I mean, you could. But you certainly wouldn’t be as agile as one who is healthy and well fed.
As I came home on Friday, I began to contemplate the difficulty in being consistent with the Lord. At least, I can thank God that He remains a loving father. I always try to remind myself that I only have to reconnect. There’s a danger though. God does not like inconsistency. He only likes us to stay connected with Him, at all times.
Please note that because I wasn’t reading my bible didn’t mean that I wasn’t doing anything else that was related with God lol. But there’s something powerful in reading the word for yourself. Those moments are personal and powerful. It's what you do privately that's manifested publicly. The Lord rewards you in public for the hours you spend in private in His word.
Spending your own time with the Lord is more than listening to a semon. Of course there are times when a sermon is necessary.But don’t substitute anything with reading the bible for yourself. It’s essential to your faith. Read it for yourself and let the Holy Spirit tell you what He alone wants you to know, tailored to your needs and desires.
Anyway, as I sat reading my bible this morning, the fear vanished. I cannot explain it, but it seems like the light of the Lord entered into my heart and I remembered whose I am. I remembered that the Lord who began it will accomplish it.
I don’t even know why I was worried. I guess it’s just a desire inside me to grow- my blog, my faith, my relationship with God, in every ramification. I want these two weeks to be explosive. I want to experience God like I haven’t before.
I’m just worried that I would have spent two weeks not working and gained nothing. My mother told me to sleep, eat and do nothing strenuous. But she doesn’t understand that I have a business to launch and a blog to grow. Oh well, even if I don’t do those things, I need to rekindle my relationship with the Lord, or at least take it to deeper places.
This is all I have to share this lovely, lovely Sunday afternoon.
I hope you’re having a wonderful day and I wish you a blessed week ahead.