Do you ever practice your testimony?
This is something I do a lot. I stand in front of mirrors practicing for my future life. I lead bible studies in my room, by myself. I lead praise and worship with a large choir behind me. I attend interviews, receive awards, go for book signings, receive degrees, pass exams with flying colors, buy houses and cars for my parents, support my friends through difficult times, rejoice in the good times, celebrate my 50 years' wedding anniversary, tear up when my children tell me how amazing I am, etcetera. Yeah, I can tell you vivid daydreams about every single one of these occasions and more. In addition, I talk myself into doing things. I begin my day with some motivation, because getting out of bed happens to be one of the most challenging things I do all day.
When I want something from God, I practice giving the testimony. I practice how I’ll tell my friends about it. Where we’d be when I’m telling them about it. What words and what gestures I’d use, and what emotions I’d display.
I’m beginning to sound crazy, but really, when I want something, I dream and dream and dream about it. Recently though, I’ve started putting in the work to bring my dreams to fruition. Some of this work means hours spent in prayers, some of it means sleeping only a few hours during exams week. (I know it's not healthy, but what's a dreamer girl to do?)
I’ve written about faith and complacency on this blog. I wrote about how I really wanted something to happen, but I was afraid of praying for it because I kept second guessing whether or not it really was God’s will for my family at that point in time.
It’s been an entire year now, and I better understand the role of our prayers. Of course God wants the best for us. Of course God wants to give us things that we want. He wants us to make bold, audacious prayers, believing that He will grant our hearts’ desires.
But as Christians, we must remember that whether or not we get what we want, we must love God regardless. We must honor His will in our lives, and we must trust Him still.
I get worried about praying too hard for something, because I keep wondering what I’d do if God says no, or asks me to wait. You know the thing about don’t love too deeply, so that when it goes awry, you don’t hurt too deeply?
I don’t know, I don’t know.
What do you guys think?
Do you stop yourself from wanting something too much, so that you don’t get hurt when you don’t want it?
Or do you let yourself run wild with your dreams and pray and pray until they come to fruition. And if so, how do you handle the possible disappointment? Are you more of a better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?
I’m genuinely curious about this, so let me know in the comments below!
Till next time,
May God’s grace keep you, and may all His desires for you come true!