Mushy conversations, just because!
Hey babe, This love we feel for each other has to be the realest deal. This love has me in tears in front of the entire church congregation. This love wakes me up at odd hours to spend time with you. This love makes me want to share my every moment with you. Thing is, my love is just a minute, imperfect expression of the love that drove you to Calvary.
Do you remember that day we fought? That day when I was calling on you so we could have our quiet time but you were no where to be found? That day when I almost didn’t have the will to pray and when I finally mustered the strength, I felt like I was hitting a brick wall. And then we had one of our most candid conversations ever.
I remember telling you in a stubborn, matter-of-fact way that even if you chose to change tomorrow and you abandoned me, and I never “felt” your presence, I will never let you go. I remember telling you that even if you wanted to hide from me the way you hid from Hezekiah, I will never let you go. And that's because your presence is constant, it is not dependent on my emotions- you remain God irrespective of how I feel/ think/ act/ whatever else.
I remember telling you that I will step on your cape like a mischievous child and wrestle with you the way Jacob wrestled until his name was changed to Israel.
I will challenge you and bring forth my strong reasons as to why you cannot abandon me. I will remind you about the 366 times in the Bible when you remind (more like command!) me not to be afraid. I will tug at your heart and spend every breath in me yelling your name until you hear and answer me. I will send forth my praise, because you inhabit the praise of your people.
Do you remember that day?
I do, and I remember a lot of the other days when I make promises and fail to keep them. Thus, I cannot but acknowledge that this relationship is one sided, and will always be this way. I cannot love you more than you love me, simply because you actually do the most (and I mean that in the most loving, grateful way).
You actually left your throne to come die for me, na you love pass abeg! No one can do it like you do, no one can move me like you do, no one tugs at my heart like you do. I haven’t found the fulfilment I find in you with anyone else. I’m at a loss of words when your presence engulfs me.
Sometimes, you crack me, and I shamelessly burst out laughing in public! LOL. It’s all good though, it’s all for you, and you already did the most for me, so yeah, you win, as you always do! And I concede defeat, even more gladly than Goodluck!
So today, as we celebrate the fact that you are the realest deal, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. In fact, remember the dream I had last night? After I read about the Garissa attack, and I dreamt that the terrorists were chasing a group of my friends and I, until they chased us into a contained place and threatening to set the place on fire.
Do you remember what I did in that dream? I simple called out to my friends ‘guys, let’s pray”, and what happened next excited me beyond words- everyone was praying aloud, never mind that the terrorists were standing outside ready to set us on fire. Even after that, I asked again, "is there anyone here who hasn't given their life to Christ?"
And then remember when that one girl died in my arms when she was hit (was it a bullet?) and I was so jealous of her, because I kept thinking about how she would go and be with you before I do. And then one of our smart friends found a way for us to escape the terrorists and I was upset because I was tired of running- I just wanted to die and be with you?
Yup, those are the kinds of dreams I have. Freaky? Creepy? I mean, who looks forward to death? The answer is simple- the one who knows their destination without a shadow of a doubt!
I love you so much! If not for anything, for the fact that you exist, and that you exist for me. I love you because you did not die for humanity, you personally died for each and every single individual on this planet.
Even if I were the only human that ever lived, you would still die on the cross, if you needed to!
So yeah, as heaven rejoices, I want you to know that I cannot wait to join you, but then again, as the Apostle Paul says, to live is Christ and to die is gain!
Here is some lovely music for you to meditate upon!
Image from here.